UPDATE:

Grandma is home!! She wasn't stroking out, it was viral meningitis... but she's gonna be ok!

My grandmother and I went out shopping, as I was modeling some clothes she looked at me funny... "What, you don't like the top?" She said "No, some thing's wrong. I can only see half of your face." My grandmother had a Brain stem  stroke in 2001, it was scary that it might have been happening again. I had noticed a change with her in the last week. She had been stumbling a lot and dropping things. We left the store, she said that she thought that it was a migraine. She does have a history of migraines, but the way she described what she was feeling didn't sound like a migraine. I went home and left her in my grandfathers care, and went out with Scott (an old friend of mine so to speak) and got something to eat. While I was out, my mother went over to visit her. I got a call shortly after Scott and I were done eating, "You need to come visit your grandmother." Right then I knew something was wrong.

It took us about ten minutes to get to the apartment, Scott dropped me off and went to go drive 45 minutes back to his place. I was there for about ten minutes, and I couldn't take it anymore. I stepped out on the balcony and called Scott back. I told him to turn around, I was going to need him because I didn't think I could handle this alone. He turned around and was there in about five minutes (he must have been speeding a bit I think.) After Scott arrived to be my support, mom left and took the kids home. It was just Scott, grandpa and I at the apartment with grandma. She really wasn't feeling well. She was throwing up and she couldn't walk. I kept urging her to go to the hospital and she wouldn't go... so I called her sister lol. Finally after calling the only backup I had, and then threatening to call an ambulance if she didn't consent to leaving with me... she finally agreed to go. I had to almost carry her down three flights of stairs. Scott and I drove my grandmother and grandpa led the way in a separate car. We got there and checked her in. I called off work the next day. And then... we waited

She got a wonderful doctor that night, Dr. Roger somethingverygerman. I liked him, he was nice, knowledgeable with a great bedside manner. After about 5am Scott was going to leave, I was thinking about going with him. I didn't want to leave until the CAT scan results came back however. The doctor told me he would peek at them and tell me if there was anything prominent on  the scan. About five minutes later he came back, nothing was immediately wrong. I left with Scott to go home and sleep a bit, it had been a long night.

Grandpa called at about 6:15am, he said that she had a bad infection, but they didn't know where it was coming from. They weren't ruling out a stroke either. Later today she will be having an MRI and some other tests. We are not exactly sure what all is wrong with her yet. I will be going to the hospital soon. Mom or I will update you later.

Please... pray for my grandmother, she really needs it.

I know that I have barely gotten my foot in the door of adulthood, I also know that from a legal standpoint I am an adult. I do not claim to know it all (believe me, I know I don't.) My mother seems to think that I do know it all, on a normal day I would agree lol. Not today mom, not today. The fact is, I don't know it all... and neither does my mother. Being a mother doesn't give you (((ALL KNOWING POWER))), on the contrary. I believe once you become a mother, you realize: "Wow, I didn't know much," indeed. And that learning process about your child continues forever. It's hard being a parent, because you can't decide when they are ready for something. They are the ones that tell you when they are ready. They tell you when they want to walk, talk, ride a bike,, know the truth about santa, drive a car, get a job, go to college, move out. And all you can do is sit back, give some words of encouragement, maybe a little advice when necessary, and let them spread their wings. Don't ever think you know your child at any given age, you don't know them unless you ask questions, and get involved. They are not who you remember them being forever, people change.

My mother says she knows me, and in a lot of ways she does.  She knows my personality and my hang-ups about things, she knows my favorite color. What she doesn't know are my opinions about the world, now that I am an adult, I have developed a few (not that that weren't there before). I know that my mother doesn't know my opinions (which have a big influence on what I do and how I do them,) because I shock her with my ideas and opinions all the time. It can be upsetting to her when I don't agree with her. It's not that she is wrong, I just don't agree. It is a difference of opinion. I don't think my mother is stupid, and I don't think that I know more than her. I just have a different point of view and a different perspective.

I am not an unruly child, but I can be difficult at times. I know it is her job to give advice, I know that she just wants the best for me. Sometimes, however, you can over do it with the advice giving. I know what I want in life, I know that some of the things I do and eat are not expedient for me, but they are all my choices. They are MY choices and a like them just fine, even when I am wrong. Do you know why I like my choices? Because I made them and I learned from them. No one told me to do it, I did it. And after all my decisions were made I reaped the consequences, whether they were good or bad. I take responsibility for my actions, this is why I feel that I do not need to be lectured any more. It's not like when I was 6 and I smashed my neighbors pumpkin, my mom told me I had to apologize and take responsibility for my actions... Well ya know what, being 6 yrs old, I didn't want to. I'm not six anymore, I will willingly take responsibility for my actions.

What that means is that I will take responsibility for what I eat, inhale into my lungs, drink and do. I can no longer be what others want me to be, I am who I am. I love my mom, but I am not always going to do what she wishes I would. I will do my best to respect her wishes, but I will not always please her. Not on purpose, simply because I have a different idea of things.

Now, with that being said... lets have a good day, shall we?

Well, I'm at work right now... looking busy as usual LOL. There has been a lot going on lately, where do I even start? I am holding a 4.0 in college, and the quarter is almost over. I am very pleased with my grades, I didn't know if I could do it... but I did . Sadly I wont be going back this next quarter. There are a lot of things that are about to fall through in my home life. OK, well "fall through" might too big of a statement. I better way to put it would be: Things are about to change, soon there will be a chance for new beginnings. I have decided not to register for winter quarter this year, things are just not permitting me to do so. I am going to get another job and see about saving up some money. Things have been bumpy lately, I'm not sure what the outcome is going to be.

Other than that not much has been  going on. I have almost given up on dating, it is hopeless. I have thought about putting out an add in the paper and conducting interviews lol:

S.W.F. seeks intelligent, loyal, honest, committed, hard working man. Needs to know how to cook and do his own laundry. Must be funny and quick witted, and not easily angered. Must be outgoing and willing to talk about philosophy. 1 year of experience required. College degree preferred. Must be house trained.

/ Seriously, I thought about it. lmfao.

But, if you are an intelligent man between the ages of 20-35 and live in Ohio... talk to me, I am single and looking. LOL

Wow, I just spent about four hours on homework. Do you ever have those moments when falling into a deep, dark crevice sounds delightful compared to your reality at any giving moment? Yeah, that pretty much sums it up.

*makes a chocking motion with an invisible noose*

You know, instead of giving me this homework assignment my instructor could have just shot me... I mean, at least it would be a quicker death.

*throws up in mouth a little*

I think doing my homework made something go wrong in my guts... they should pay students emotional compensation money. No seriously, some of this stuff could render you mentally ill.

Example:

After two years of taking his BIS (Business Information Systems) class, Jonathan was put into a mental institution. His family claimed that he became detached from reality, and kept repeating incoherent mutterings of formulas and the "IF" function.

*Jonathan sits in corner wearing a straight jacket while rocking back and forth in a padded room*

Jonathan: "B2 plus B5 minus B8"

Warden: "Jonathan, I know you are not crazy. Please, tell me what all this means"

Jonathan: *incoherent whisperings* "It's the "IF" function. of course!... why didn't I think of that?

Warden: "What does that mean?! 'IF' you would tell me I could help you!"

Jonathan: *blood curdling scream* AHHHHH!!!! No, please! No, more IF's... *crying* No more IF's!!! *whimpers*

(In order to get the joke written above, one must be familiar with Microsoft Office Excel)

To all those who do get it... ain't it the truth?

I know I haven't really talked about my office life much, I need to start doing that. First, to sum up my job I only have one thing to say... the movie "Office Space." If you haven't seen it you need to, or you an just go to YouTube and look up some scenes... seriously, you must do this. Now for some office stories.

I haven't been feeling well lately, so naturally I've been sneezing. There is a little cubical way far in the back of the office, it is "home" to a man named Daryl. I don't see him often. He is a small man, almost shockingly so, with a little voice. You never see him, I mean rarely... sometimes you don't even know he's there, until you sneeze and a small disembodied voice says "bless you", thats all you hear. It is shocking sometimes, because since you haven't seen him all day, you think he's not at work. Then you hear. The first time I sneezed and I heard a "bless you" I paused, made a face, looked up to even and said "Lord?"

Daryl is a trip... seriously.

Ok, I know I have been AWOL for quite sometime now, it just took me some time to get a feel for my work and school schedule. I will do my best to get back in the swing of things on here....

... now, to go comment some of the people I have missed the most.

My cousin had her labor induced on the 3rd of this month, she gave birth on October 4th at 5:58am to a little boy, Kaeden Michael, 19in long, and 7lbs even. I was in the delivery room and held her leg as she brought new life into this world, she did I good job... I am very proud of her.

 
 
 
  

My Photography

So, like uhhh... what was I going to say? Oh yeah, I got a new job! You'll never guess what it is, go ahead, try. You'll never guess, never, no not in a million bazillion years. Don't feel bad though, you're not dumb or anything... just, well... OK, maybe you are, but not even a genius could guess it . OK, you give up yet? Do ya? Do, ya, do ya, do ya huh? OK, well... my new occupation is... *drum roll please* Student Assistant!!! YAY! *jumps up and down doing a happy dance*

Sorry... I had to boast a little I know... maybe I shouldn't boast so much, I am ashamed .... but not really

In other news: The geeky hunk never called back, not sure what's up with that... but ok, what eva! I am now in the "getting to know you stage" with a drummer/culinary artist named Russ, and oh yeah... he can cook baby, he can cook!!!

^^ *drools all over self*

On a more amusing note: I got very bored and decided to paint my room at midnight about a week ago. What? Why are you looking at me like that? ... SO, I GOT BORED!!! What of it man?! It's not like I am the only human in the world who has painted a whole room at midnight out of boredom, and it looks pretty cool, OK?!! You're just jealous of my mad ninja painting skills aren't you? I know you are, you can't fool me. I'm onto you

Some funny quotes I stumbled upon:

"What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere?
'Hold my purse.'"

"When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep -- not screaming, like the passengers in his car."

"Whatever women do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult."

"Energizer Bunny arrested, charged with battery."

"Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It's just that yours is stupid."

"I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants".

^^ Now, I can dig that reason for being vegetarian. Awesome

I was at the pool, greasing myself up with some knew coconut tanning oil. And then a here a hoot and a shout, these men... these BIG black men are hooting at me. I blush of course and smile, believe it or not I don't get that kind of attention everyday even with my awesomely bitchin' good looks. They keep on going on, and yeah, they are making me a little uncomfortable, I really don't want to stand up and get in the pool. I light a cigarette hoping if I mind mine own business and ignore them that they will leave me alone, nope, not a chance. They come down to the pool and get in with me, they're talking to me and asking personal questions... I get ready to leave and run into a woman who I think is dating one of the guys, we get into conversation and I ask if the guy is her boyfriend. She chuckles and says "something like that." OK, wow, they are a little weird, what's going on? Something's not right. So I leave the pool and a friend of mine intercepts me walking back to my grandmothers. The first thing he says is "are you ok?" and then he puts his arm around me, which is very weird behavior for him to do. As we are walking with his arm around me, I almost feel in danger, not from him, I feel like he is trying to protect me. He starts telling me that the three men at the pool are pimps and the woman is a hooker and they have had their eye on me for a while and want me to whore for them. To say the least I am shocked, but of course it all makes sense now too. So he keeps walking with me and one of the guys are following me, my friend Derek and his friend Chad pull up and get out of the truck and start talking to me. The one guy who was following me was yelled at by another to stop because there were big men all around me now. I have been asked to do some crazy stuff, but a hooker? Damn. At least I can tell the grand kids someday "Yes, your granny used to be a dish... all the pimps wanted her business." LOL

To tell you the truth... no matter how many jokes I make about it... it was kinda scary.

She anxiously stepped inside O'Malley's cottage and carefully shut the door behind her, the place hadn't changed much from what she could tell; the furniture hadn't moved, the picture still hung where they always had, even the smells hadn't changed. A thick aroma of lilac wafted passed her, it was then she new that he would be coming home very soon. He would always pick some lilac and place it on the kitchen table before he left on an errand, he loved the soothing smell of it when he came home. She sat the bottle of Irish whiskey on the table and took off her coat. She almost felt at home again, she had been sailing the seas for so long that it just felt so good to slow down and stay a while. She walked around looking at the old paintings that were hanging on the wall for a while, remembering the past. She came across one of an old craggy sea coast with a pier jutting from it. It reminded her of when she and O'Malley were standing on a pier drinking whiskey, those were the good times. Yes, she was a pirate, but rum was not her favorite drink. She loved whiskey and it would be a pleasure to say cheers with O'Malley again, after all this time, when he returned. Finally, she sat down in a big leather chair. It sat in the corner where it always had, and she propped her booted feet up and went to sleep. It had been a long voyage, and she was ready to rest. Her last thoughts were of home and how at home she felt here, what a wonderful feeling to have after being adrift for so long.

The sun had just said farewell to the day as the moon took up it's shift. A few hours had passed since she had nodded off awaiting the arrival of her friend. She didn't even hear him come in or pull up a chair. His presence went unnoticed until he could no longer endure the temptation to touch her. He gently brushed the hair from her face and grazed her cheek. Her soft, warm skin felt so inviting against his rough calloused hands. He just stared at her, as he had been doing for the passed hour. She looked so peaceful, he couldn't bring himself to wake her, but he had to touch her, just once, just to make sure he wasn't merely dreaming of this beautiful girl in boots, for he had thought of nothing but her since her departure so long ago. She was there,  Caliana, her skin as soft as it always had been, her warmth unmistakably pleasant. He wanted to kiss her but he stopped himself as she opened her eyes and whispered his name. That was always her greeting to him "Sean O'Malley!", it was the first thing she said to him when they met. She met him through her one of her cousins, she had heard so much about him and had heard his description so many times, the first time she saw him she knew exactly who it was, it was: Sean O'Malley. Unmistakably him. She got so excited she yelled out his name not even stopping for an introduction. When she whispered it now he couldn't help but chuckle, every time she said it it took him back to the first time she ever had, and what a sweet moment that was.

"I didn't hear you come in, how long have you been here?" She curiously asked.
"About an hour" He replied with a smile.
"Why didn't you wake me?"
"You looked too peaceful to disturb"

She smiled back at him. Yes, that was O'Malley. He could never bring himself to wake her, even if she asked him to beforehand. He would always tell her that she looked too peaceful to bother.

He thanked her for the whiskey and then poured them both a drink, they had a lot to talk about, it had been a while since they had spoken. She told him of her triumphs and of her misfortunes, he listened intently. She loved that about him, he was such a good listener. They stayed up and talked all night, telling stories of their adventures. Some were funny, some were sad, and others were just amazing. They told new secrets and made fun of the old ones, they laughed and cried together... like they always had.

The night was coming to an end and sleep was begging them for attention. She looked so sultry in the dancing firelight, laughing and flashing those dazzling eyes. He couldn't resist, he didn't care if it was out of place or inappropriate, he kissed her. It was a long kiss, one that could have shaken the earth and torn the skies. It was a deep kiss, a kiss that no ocean could match. He told her to stay for a while and leave the ocean behind, for he wanted to court her as he had always wanted. She was pleased and content with dropping anchor for a while, for the only place she wanted to be was there.

The sun had set and risen again many time since she had set sail away from the love she once knew, it hadn't been that long, but to her heart it was an eternity. She had not felt loneliness in a long time and the sudden emptiness shook her. It was a dry emptiness, like the desert when parched of thirst, it was as if her broken heart had spilled all of the sustaining life that once flowed through her veins. Her tears had dried up as well, she found it hard to speak of her pain, let alone purge it from her system. The days felt longer than usual and the nights seemed endless, when she shut her eyes she could find no rest or serenity from the thoughts that plagued her. She was not use to the lack of company that surrounded her and it bothered her greatly. She needed someone to talk to, someone to laugh with, to cry with. She thought back, remembering the friends she had and the friends she once knew and then a name she hadn't heard in a while came to mind... O'Malley. He was a tall, handsome Irishman, a little on the husky side with broad shoulders. He laughed often and grinned through rosy cheeks, he was an interesting fellow with a good sense of humor and a lot of joy to share. Yes, O'Malley, he would welcome her. It had been a long time since he had crossed her path... she thought that it might be time to pay O'Malley a visit.

She steered her ship into the harbor where it came to rest, she fumble at the ropes as she rehearsed her greetings to her old friend. No words sounded right to her, she knew she was going to have to wing it. She stepped onto land and heading in the last direction she knew where to find him. On the way she spotted a local merchant selling his favorite whiskey, this reunion was a celebration, why not drown melancholy tonight? Not only would she drop by, but she would come bearing gifts... Mark my words, bearing gifts of whiskey is the way to an Irishman's heart. It was a long walk to his little abode off shore, it gave her plenty of time to think. She was singing and thinking to herself, out of all the scallywags she had ever met, she was certain, Sean O'Malley was the most charming. She was getting closer, approaching the hill that sheltered his home from plain view and then there is was, she made it. She looked around searching for any kind of sign of life, the cottage looked a little older than she last remembered it being, some new paint wouldn't hurt. She walked up the path to his door and paused, she took a deep breath (((knock, knock, knock))) she beat on the door. No answer. (((knock, knock, knock, knock))) No answer. She knew at that point that luck paid her no attention, no, not even enough to humor her. She started to walk away when she remembered about the spare key he kept beneath an old rum barrel, it was unlikely that he still kept the key there after all these years, but checking couldn't hurt. She turned the barrel on it's side and held her breath... nothing. No wait! Something sparkled, something shined. Hidden beneath a layer of dirt was the key, she smiled, barely containing her joy. Now, to see if the key still worked. On the first try... the door creaked open.

To Be Continued...