J is very poised, reserved, yet forthright and open. He is one of those
people who love having a written or at least a mental list to follow
and stick to. When he needs to get something done he is a man on a
mission! A mission I tell you! He doesn't like to deviate from the plan. As for me I am bold,
outspoken, intense... an "anything goes so go with the flow"  kind of
person. I love the spur of the moment and when I make plans they are
more like guidelines rather than "what is actually going to happen". I
am peace, love and "all that jazz," J is more professional and a little
bit more down to earth than I am. But in the end we balance each other
out.

I need someone to tell me to calm it down and quit being a freak... and he needs someone to tell
him to roll with it and loosen up that anus or I will with my size 10 shoe *chuckles*. We roll and chill pretty well together and joke about everything all the time. He craves
excitement and spontaneity though, or else he wouldn't be with me... I
guess that means that he brings the order into the relationship. He's
not all "by the book"... he's dating me isn't he? He has this inner
freak that has been dying to be unleashed for years... and I bring out
the beast
Awesome.We are truly soul mates... it's like at one point we were
joined then ripped apart, each of us walking away with different
dynamics of who we once were. Now that we have found each other again,
it's not that we complete each other... we merely compliment the
characteristics that we have individually polished over the years,
making them better and more officiant.

When I first saw him I looked into his eyes and I saw forever. His name
was written on my heart before the foundation of the world and when we
met my spirit lept with joy and whispered "Cat, that's him." and I just
KNEW....

Have you ever watched a television series with your partner and thought "OMG, that's us!"? J and I were watching TV the other day and I am not sure how it got brought up, but he mentioned how he thought that we were a lot like Dharma & Greg. I kinda agreed with him, I mean, from what I could remember about Dharma & Greg.

I found this clip of how Dharma & Greg first met... it reminded me of J and I *grin*

Yes, I have been known to be a realist, sometimes an antagonist, other times an idealist, and in between those time I am an opportunist. I can be a lot of "ists," believe me, but I am most proud of my inner romanticist. Now, I believe that romanticism can be healthy, "CAN" is the key word here. Yes, there are people who tend to take it a bit far, but that doesn't mean that everyone else who believe in some magical romanticized realm is crazy. Au Contraire.

Now, I will admit that I am a believer in love at first sight, however, I wasn't always. There was a time when I thought that "love at first sight" was a "movie thing" or a topic for a good fictional romance book. The thought or truth about love at first site didn't hit me until I saw it. Yes, I know... cheese anyone?

I was watching Sleepless in Seattle last night and I was awe struck by it, It reminded me of my fiance. It wasn't just the love at first sight aspect, it was the "knowing something before it's logical" thing. I knew that my now soon-to-be husband was going to be just that, my soon-to-be husband, before I ever met him face to face. But when I saw him... everything, love, adoration, trust, friendship, familiarity and forever were made manifest in that one moment. It literately happened in the blink of an eye. I remember exactly how it felt... it felt like I had been hit in the chest with a sledgehammer made out of solid euphoria, it was enough to take my breath away.

There were other side effects from this thing called love... contentment being on of them. Contentment brought on other side effects as well. I started having trouble writing, especially poetry. I was very distraught over this, I didn't know why all of a sudden I couldn't write. Was it a sign, a bad omen? I sure hoped it wasn't. As I was attempting and failing miserably at writing one day,  I tried to think back on the kind of feelings I had and focused on when I wrote in the past, I realized something. Whenever I wrote something I was angry, depressed, or sad... I had never written anything while in a good mood before. "Great, now I'm happy... what do I do know?" I started writing to cope with  life, I could create a make believe world and fantasize about anything I wanted to. I wrote because I felt that my life was inadequate and needed embellishing... in essence, I had made my sadness an inspiration, but I wasn't sad anymore.

The only thing I was sad about now was that I couldn't write a masterpiece for the love of my life, what I failure I had become as a poet. I was embarrassed, ashamed even to call myself a writer. How was I going to fix this? I hadn't a clue.. so I prayed and I waited. When I met Jason he didn't complete me (per se) he complimented me. He was the strawberry to my wine, the milk to my cookie... the Wookie companion to my Han Solo. He didn't just complement me, he made me someone new. I wasn't just "Cat" anymore, I was "Cat and..." I had left the sad part of me behind (along with my writing.) This love I now possessed had transformed me. It was shocking... but because I was a new person I had to learn how to write all over again. My inspiration wasn't my sadness anymore... it was my love, my happiness, my contentment. After I had tapped into this kegger called "loves inspiration," it flowed from me like alcohol at a toga party. It was amazing.

It's weird what love can do to the soul... it reminds me of the crucifiction of Jesus Christ and how his love has transformed all who choose to accept it. In the same respect Jason's love did the same, given it was on a different level... but nonetheless... it was transforming. I thank God for my fiance, I believe he is an answered prayer. Truly I am blessed.

Here is a love quote that I got off of MyStewartJournal, I really liked it:

"We are all a little weird and life's a little weird, and when we find
someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them
and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love." 
~Author Unknown

I was thinking of all my problems today... I'm broke, I haven't found a job yet, I have no relationship with my father, my brother should be in a cage at a zoo under "Rare Species", and the rest of my family could use a straight jacket and maybe a couple Prozac... but then I got to thi nking of all the good things in my life, including the advice I have been given over the years.

Speaking of "anxiety," I do suffer from it. Not having a job is starting to get to me, it worries me. I try not to worry and every time I do I am reminded of what my grandmother says about worrying, something my fiance and I repeat to each other quite often.

Funny, I know... but the humor itself has a calming effect. Believe it or not, this post is not about my problems, oh no. This post is about advice. Not advice for me... just the topic of advice itself. Today I have been thinking about all of the "advice" I have been given over the years, some are good... others I have taken, reshaped and then applied to my life. For instance:

What a lie that is and horrible advice to give. It's completely false. I have met a lot of people who have been so wounded by their experiences that they can no longer function in society... and I believe it is because they didn't have someone telling them the truth about what didn't  kill them. The proper advice?

Good advice? I know. The truth in a lot of peoples lives is that what didn't kill them might as well have... but that was their decision. Anyway...

There were a lot of things I grew up hearing: "Fools names and fools faces are often seen in public places." or "Don't look a gift horse in the mouth." Wanna know the ones that really stuck with me? There is a lot. There is a song, however, that speaks of many of the things I have taken to heart over the years, I thought of it today while I was pondering "good advice." Listen to it... it may just be what you need to hear.

I need input, I am writing this book (untitled as of right now,) I need to know how the public will receive it.

Oh, and:
Know any or can you think of any cool names I can name a character?
How about names for species?
Anything you would like to add to the story, what could make it better?

Lend me your creativity! *smiles* Pretty please?

Introduction:

Over the hills and valleys, into a
place that you would least expect deep in the heart of the forest, there you will find a creature who is quite
mysterious indeed, for they are often overlooked and seldom understood. They
call these creatures the Jixies. They are no more than two feet tall on their
tippy toes, but you can ask those who have met one and they will tell you that
despite their size they are very quick on their feet. They are covered with
long bushy fur like that of a lion’s mane, their ears are big, pointed and long
giving them a majestic look and I can imagine good hearing as well. Their eyes
are big and bright, full of mischief, set right above their little snouts. They have short legs and big feet, which gives them a waddle when walking without
the help of their hands.

Jixies are not quite odd looking, just different. When you
see them you know that if a Jixie could look like anything, it would look just
like that, even if they have never been described to you before. They love to
play games and are quite good at riddles, so before you riddle them this and
that, remember, they could probably beat you while tongue tied.

Jixies live in many places, wherever land is found. In the north
they dwell in the giant redwoods, in the south they have made their homes in
the cypress trees. The black oaks in the east were once an oasis for the Jixies,
but because of the growing rarity of these trees some have migrated to the red
oaks. In the far, far west they have taken shelter underground, the cool earth
protecting them from the heat of day. These Jixies in the west that dwell in
tunnels and chambers are a little different than others, their eyes have
adjusted to life in the dark and their hair is much, much lighter. Their moods
are a little less pleasant but they have managed to stay friendly, though can
come off as rude. But overall they are silly fun loving individuals that laugh
often and rarely will you find one not smiling. Contrary to popular belief, the
tree dwelling Jixies also live underground as well, beneath the tree where
they are safe and hidden. The reason I tell you of this is because this is a story of one
Jixie in particular, a Jixie by the name of Jeru.

Chapter 1:

Jeru was one of the Northerners who lived in a giant
redwood; he had lived there all his life and had no plans of leaving anytime
soon. He was comfortable, he had everything he needed, and Jixies need little
more than that. Unlike most Jixies he lived alone, though others lived in big
families with sometimes 4 generations under one roof. The reason why he was the
only occupant of his cozy little abode doesn’t matter, all that matters is that
he was. But loneliness was never a concern; he had family and friends among
the other redwoods and hobnobbed often, as Jixies tend to do. There was little
to be concerned about in these peaceful woods and nothing unfortunate had
happened in almost eight hundred years, but that was about to change…

He sat there quietly smoking the pipe his grandfather had
given him on his 100^th birthday and he enjoyed it thoroughly. With
each puff it was as if he was drawn deeper into thought, the thought of what
I’m not sure, he himself sometimes wasn’t sure. But he sat there daydreaming,
dreaming about anything, about life beyond the redwoods. His contemplation was
interrupted by a knock at the door, he was not expecting any company but he
never begrudged the arrival of a friend. He lopped towards the door to invite
whoever it was inside for some freshly brewed mint tea and a pleasant smoke
from his old pipe. The knock sounded again, this time a little louder.

“I’m coming, I’m coming!” He bellowed.

He opened the door and there stood, who of all of people? It
was his dear cousin Jada, son of his Aunt Tissy on his mother’s side; he was
the uninhibited one in the family and had a reckless streak. Many times had
Jada gotten him into trouble, but then again he was always there to bail him
out as well.

“Hey there, you old scraggly fur ball, come on in, I was
just fixing some tea and it’s your favorite.”

“Don’t mind ifa do” He made himself comfortable while Jeru
fetched the tea.

Jada looked around admiring the décor and the space; he
chuckled every time he thought about how cleverly his people lived. Their homes
were simple but brilliant, disguised to hide the fact that anyone might call it
“home.” The entry at the base of the trunk was carved out of the tree itself,
you couldn’t even tell there was a door there until it swung open, when shut it
seemed to practically disappeared, hiding any sign of anything different than
giant redwood. Only the eye of a Jixie or those who knew them well could spot a
Jixie tree. At about that time Jeru toddled in with a wooden tray upon which sat
the kettle, two clay cups and some sugar.

Jada was happy, he loved Jeru’s tea, “Thank you, I have been
craving some of your tea for a while, you brew the best” he exclaimed as he
sipped his hot tea.

“Care for a smoke too?” Jeru offered.

He declined explaining that he was trying to cut back. “Grandma
Brilly doesn’t like it and I promised I wouldn’t.” he whimpered as he looked at
the floor and shook his head wishing he hadn’t promised anything.

Jeru took his pipe in hand “Fair enough,” he puffed to light
the sweet smelling tobacco “you’re missing out though, this is my best batch.”

You could see the longing in Jada’s eyes, his mouth began to
water, oh, how he wanted to taste of the smooth honey flavored smoke with a
hint of berry. Jada sighed and again declined.

“Your willpower will fade,” Jeru chuckled “so what’s the
point?”

“No, I can quit smoking whenever I wish, and I have.”

“I give you two more days, three at most and then you will
be begging me for some tobacco.” Jeru began to laugh for it had happened
countless times. He now looked curiously at Jada, “Why do you place yourself in
such discomfort knowing it will all be for naught in the end?”

“Every time I make a promise, I actually have the mind to
follow through.”

“You do know what the definition of insanity is, right?”

“No, what might that be?”

“Picking barries from
the same bush repeatedly and expecting a different taste”

They both began to hoot and howl almost falling out of there
seats, everyone knew that Jada had always been a couple honeybees short of a beehive.

Sweet, I look like one of the three musketeers!
Rawk On!

I am now a Lifetime member of Xanga... that's what saving up 100,000 Xanga Credits can do. Yes, now you can buy premium with Credits! I didn't know that, as a matter of fact I am not sure how long that has been going on... I'm an astronaut/space pirate/world dominationist/cult leader, I have no time to learn or care about such minuscule details... that's what my lackey is for... where is he?  *looks around suspiciously*  I will deal with him later.

As I was saying... wait, I forgot... Oh yeah! As I was saying, this whole Xanga Credit thing is pretty cool, I like it. I'm a Lifer baby!

I walked in my living room and there I saw him standing there, a box of chocolates in one hand for my grandmother and a pot full of tulips in the other (my favorite flower.) I looked at him with appreciative eyes as he grinned back with his. He just smiled as I walked over to get a better smell of the delightful flowers he had so considerately purchased (I can imagine for a pretty penny.) I sat the flowers down on the table...  then kissed him relentlessly (what else was I supposed to do? lol) Shortly after the very public display of affection, we were off...

We were running a little late for our 7:30pm reservations that he had made at this wonderful Thai restaurant, Bahn Mai. We got there... later than we had anticipated, but nonetheless.. we arrived. We sat there looking all googly eyed at each other (this being our first Valentine's Day together, we were excited.) I got a Thai iced tea and a glass of some very good German Riesling white wine, he ordered a beer (yeah, all man baby. lol) I drank my tea and sipped at my wine as we talked and laughed as we usually do. When the time came to order our food I decided that I was going to try some Alligator Pad Kapow (alligator happens to be very good, tasted just like chicken. ) So then we waited for our food to arrive as we ate some very good spring rolls with some sweet and spicy sauce.

After we finished our appetizer, he excused himself from the table politely and said that he had to go to the restroom. I waited there for a while and finally he came back (he actually hadn't gone to the restroom, I will tell you... he is a sneaky one as you will soon find out.) About five minutes after his return, our food arrived. The waitress sat his plate down, and as she began to present mine... I noticed a white box, and in it was a sparkling diamond ring. My eyes grew wide as my hands went up to cover my mouth (which at this point was wide open,) The owner and a couple waitresses were standing behind me (which I hadn't even realized till afterwards) I looked at my wonderful boyfriend Jason with my tear filled eyes... then he got down on one knee. The whole room got quite and tunnel vision set in... I could hear my heartbeat resonating in my ears... this was it... I held my breath. As the room seemed to stand still, I will never forget the words he said.

"Catlin, I want to be joined with you, mind, body, and spirit... forever. I would be very honored and blessed if you would be my wife. Marry me."

I looked at him and finally breathed...

"Yes. Yes, yes, yes, yes.. ohhhhhh, yes!" I believe, word for word, that was my answer. lol

The owner and the waitresses began to clap... I was still in shock. I just looked at this beautiful ring, it wasn't new... it is a very old ring and I recognized it immediately when I saw it... It was my grandma Mary Davis's. It had been in my family for five generations, that ring is passed down to all the first born daughters.... and it was now my turn to receive it. My great, great grandmother Mary Louella Davis and  my great, great grandfather Frederick Carter Davidson dated for no more than a week when they were engaged to be married... they were married for 50 years... all with that ring.

I just stared at the ring... it finally hit me what had just happened. I squealed and began to clap... everyone else in the restaurant clapped too. The feeling and my reaction reminded me of a time way back when I was 4. My mother and grandmother took me to the butterfly house at the Cincinnati Zoo, I walked in and all of the butterflies were just flocking in the air... I was mesmerized. I looked at them, squealed, and began to clap my hands in pure delight. Yep, that was the same feeling I felt when I looked at that ring and then back at the love of my life... I felt the butterflies again.

I can't wait to spend forever with this man... eternity just isn't long enough...

Go wish the Lucky Man congratulations *smiles*

Happy Valentine's Day to everyone here one Xanga... love is a funny thing.

IS THERE ANY INTELLIGENT LIFE OUT THERE!!  HELLO!?! (booming echo) Guess not. I was all excited about voting for the first time now that I am of age, looking at my options I don't even WANT to vote. I am VERY disappointed with my options. I think this is all just screwed. The newspapers are Dems, the TV announcers are Dems. It is truly becoming a one party system. There used to be a law against giving your opinion if you were a newscaster. Everyone had to get equal time. Who among us is old enough to remember when Hillary was in college and belonged to the campus communist party? Now she and Bill have become a new entity: Billary (DUN DUN DUHNN!) capable of leaping beyond the law regarding Presidents not being able to serve more than 2 consecutive terms. Now each party has become fused into the Repdems or Publicrats or is it the left and right of the Shadow Government that we all know as Fema who has brought forth the fabulous clean up of Hurricane Katrina???

Is there any reason to believe that Billary's friendship with Dubai would not lead to our ports yet being controlled by them? Can the Clinton's actually turn the United States into their own private White Water? Would any intern be safe with Bill having little to occupy himself with? What about Obama whose middle name is Hussein and his grandparent's Muslim:  is he going to be Vice President? Weep, WEEP for America.

What is your political party inclination? Are you a Republican or a Demagogue? Are you a white-collar suit with a huge bonus, or a working-class lacky to them? Where is the room for the middle man? And what is up with the "new" voting method? At least with hanging "chads" the older voting machines left those pesky trails behind, but use the computerized machines and any high school hacker with a laptop could really play havoc with the rights of the voters. AND, have you noticed that you no longer get "just the news" but only opinions and commentary to swing public opinion to "their" views? If  you want to know what is really going on, why do you need to listen to Deutche Welle or the BBC World News? Huntly and Brinkley must be spinning in their graves and Walter Chronkite is roasting marshmallows over them in tears! Is anyone really paying attention? Since when do Hollywood actors with their great knowledge, understanding, and wealth of experience in virtually nothing but being paid liars have opinions of anything worth hearing? And what about Angelina Jolie going to Baghdad to do some humanitarian efforts there? She'll adopt a couple more bastard children over there and give them a home, while our children of America starve and run the streets. Oh, but I do hope little Habib and Muhammad get the royal treatment they deserve *rolls eyes*. Have I said too much? "What's the point?" you might ask? I'm not sure anymore... I just felt like ranting. What do I know anyway? I am just a 19 year old Libertarian who has never voted...

P.S. Did I mention that the Republican party sucks too?

Jason (my man) has joined Xanga and has blogged about something that I believe is worthy of attention. That is, if you love me . Just swing by and read his blog, comment on the topic if you like... but most of all, give him a Xanga welcome. I would really appreciate it.

-Far_Skies

P.S. Have I mentioned that I really love you all? Well I do... lol

To give you all an update on my dating life, I am now dating someone exclusively. No, not Pez dispenser guy lol. This guy, though I am sure likes Pez (who doesn't?), is much deeper than that. I never believed in love at first site, and I was beginning to doubt that "true love" existed. As you all know I am a Christian and believe in miracles. I have prayed for the perfect man before (perfect for me, not in general.) I actually made a list of all the things I wanted in a man and read them to God (cheesy in a way, I know.) I wanted someone sensitive, loving, caring, giving and funny. A Christian man who is also interested in the paranormal (aliens and such, considering that I am a geek for that.) Our love story is a funny one. I had been dating a lot of losers (not calling "Pez guy" a loser,) anyway... I had been dating a lot of losers. None of them had really caught my attention. Of course I had prayed my prayer "Lord, let him be... *list of wants* etc... and Lord, if I meet someone that is not in your plans for me, make him seem unappealing." Well, because of this prayer NO ONE seemed appealing!! I was like "C'mon God! Gimme a break?" After confiding in my grandmother that I was going to be alone for the rest of my life (LOLL < laugh out loudly loud,) she said "I say that your dream man will come along within the week, he will be a Christian, not just that, but a preacher... Amen."

So a week flew by. I was on this dating site. PlentyOfFish.com. I hadn't been on there for long at all, no more than a couple weeks, I got this message. It said something to the effect of "Hello, I just wanted to tell you that you are very beautiful." Well, I had gotten a lot of similar messages (you know, because I am such a hot piece .) I took a peek at his profile expecting to find something horribly wrong with him (you know, because hot things like me tend to attract the freaks loll.) I couldn't find one thing wrong with him, NADA ONE! His profile was actually quite impressive. He was very open and honest, to the point, and he knew exactly what he wanted. So I read down the list of what the perfect woman to him would be (checking them off as I went,) I realized "Wow, he must be looking for ME!" (because who wouldn't be looking for me? loll) I got to the bottom of his profile... then I found what was wrong with him. He wasn't looking for anyone under the age of 28. I was bummed . I wanted to message him back... so I did . I figured that with my smooth ninja talking skills I could talk my way into this... so I did .

I pretty much said something to the effect of "Hey, can the 28 year old rule be bent or broken? Oh and hey, here's my number 937-***-****, call me sometime." (you wish I would give it out, don't you? ) Eventually he got up the nerve to call, on a Tuesday I believe. We talked for a few and said goodbye, the second time we talked it was for hours (and hasn't changed since.) We went out for the first time on Friday, January 11th 8:45pm (he had to tell me the exact day and time LOL) it was the following Friday after the Tuesday we talked. We hit it off big, HUGE, ginormous. He actually exceeded my expectations! Wow, couldn't believe it. He was a Charismatic Christian (and an ex assistant pastor ) AND, Oooo and... he also believes in the paranormal. We liked the same music, even said some of the same kind of stuff like "I'm gonna punch you in the throat," and "abso-flippin-lutely." LOLL. The more we hung out the more we found out about each other, the more I found out about him I realized that he was ME with a penis LOL. We just fit together. He brought me flowers on the first date. I opened the door and saw him standing there, the moment I first laid my eyes on him I knew... I was going to marry that man. It was love at first site. Another odd thing about it was this, my mom and my grandparents liked him... no, they LOVED him. That has never happened before.

I eventually got to meet his children (yes, he has three... spare me the lecture.) Catie, Rachael and Emily. Adorable Kids. We went ice skating and then played some games. Emily eventually fell asleep on me that night, like she had known me forever. That is what's so weird, I feel like I have known him forever. He feels the same way, along with my family and his kids... I am loving this. It is just too perfect not to be "right." We both deleted our PlentyOfFish.com profiles after the second day of meeting and gave our promises to each other. We have been inseparable ever since. I love him and I am going to shout it from the rooftops **climbs up on her roof, almost slips but recovers. Awkwardly stands up and lifts arms in the air... takes a deep breath and shouts** "I LOVE HIM!!" I love him . **climbs down thinking that maybe the roof wasn't such a good idea** LOL.

Anyway... yeah, so there it is. True love exists, prayers are answered and I am one blessed mamma jamma *smiles*

(man, that was a long post, and I didn't even go into too much detail! loll)

My Love, Jason.

Catie

Rachael

Emily

Poppa bear and all his cubs. LOL